Dante Wolfe

This frustrates me to no end!  Try as may I cannot run D&D games.  As a GM I can't take the games seriously I draw up absolute blanks for story and my games end up falling into fantasy comedy.  I mean it's not the system I can run d20 Modern games and other d20 based systems but just D&D maybe it has some unnatural stigma that I can't take it seriously.  

Or maybe it's because I just finished a 6 month D&D campaign (yes it was completed and finished).  Maybe i don't know... Maybe it's because I see D&D games as noob games and I know that a really immature mentality to have but I just see it that way.  It's odd to me. 

Ok I gotta say I love LARPing I'm addicted to it.  It's like a drug in every possible aspect.  I would do anything to get more LARP, LARP has affected relationships and friendships at times, I can never seem to find an adequate amount of LARP in my area so I'm willing to travel great distances even at the remote chance or promise of a LARP, If unchecked I've spent great deals of money at times even whole paychecks to buy supplements pay for events, costuming, props, stagecrafting and etc.

Now don't let this fool you, I am a fairly grounded person.  I am very well in control of myself and I have luckily been able to find a mate who not only accepts this aspect of me but loves it herself.  She has learned that my wife is Gaming, and My mate is my mistress.

Does this mean that I have a problem with gaming or more specifically LARPing?  My mate doesn't think so, the games we have run together or even played in either as both players or as GM to player have been enthralling captivating and are things that even now my old players look back on with a fondness and reminisces about them.  She has come up with the possible theory that I have not been able to tell my story.  All Storytellers go through this, the one Epic story that has been sitting in their minds since they started. the one story that they have tried to finish multiple times and somethings has always ruined the game (mostly out of character drama "She slept with who" type shit) that always divide a gaming group or just discourage the players as whole "This isn't the type of place I want to be around with all this drama" and so forth.

And I think she's right... the closest I ever got was a Laws of the Ascension game that went on for 6 months.  Now I know six months could be a good run for a larp but this didn't run it's course mind you, it was cut down my rival gaming groups stealing out players (In most cases physically "Hey you like this game? Come with me for a second!") and of course the oh so important out of character drama with people who either can't keep their legs closed or their mouths shut.

So there is my problem, The Woes of my LARPing experiences. Since that time I have tried to start other LARPs with real promise and drive but I feel like I'm winding down to apathy or even burn out not due to over use but rather wasted efforts.  I'm tired of putting my sweat blood and tears into a story and then watching it fall apart.  But like a Junkie if I catch wind of a rumor or a hint of a LARP I'm crawling back for more.

D&D Home Page - What Class Are You? - Build A Character - D&D Compendium

Take the Magic: The Gathering 'What Color Are You?' Quiz.

So what's been going on with life recently?  Alot hence the reason I haven't had a chance to post anything in a few months.  Work has been keeping me busy  I now work from 7am to 6:30 Pm  That's like a ten hour work day and a fifty hour work week.  Most of it is extra pay that I got forced into.  -shrugs-

I'm still alive and kicking trying to save up enough so me and Tsu can get our own place which is alot harder then it seems especially with someone trying to create credit card fraud on us.

My games are going into a bit of a funk lately I don't know if it's burnout or just being to busy to properly prepare game material.  I was running a werewolf the wild west game that was going really well but through some twist of fate the character sheets disappeared.  my players weren't too happy.   We were running a Shadowrun LARP that was really going great but through some dumb luck we had to shut it down due to problems with the security of the location even though we had all the neccissary paper work and clearance from the owners.  well water under the bridge on this point.

People have approached me about wanting to run a Vampire larp for a club of local high school students who recently went to see Twilight.  I have no problem with this but teenagers are so fickle as far as what they are into and as far as attendance.  I'll see how that will transpire.

Recently got back into Magic: the Gathering.  Enjoying it again so far especially now that I am able to share it with my kids who had thought YuGiOh was the "shit" until I taught them how more stimulating Magic was.  They might be more hooked on it then me at this point hehe but it's their excitement that keeps me going.  Also been playing the new card game Chaotic and it's been a blast.  Also recently purchased Nintendo Monopoly and the kids have luved it.

Haven't been able to find time to record another podcast for We'd Rather Be Larping also fans of Tsu have been waiting for us to record GreenHill Zone: A Sonic Podcast but that hasn't really gotten anywhere.

I guess that's about it... Xmas vacation will be coming up and I'll be able to relax some then... maybe I can work on my own projects alittle then...

I've been watching these commercials about how blockbuster is better then NetFlix and etc, but fuck that shit.  NetFlix is the only place I can find movies for me and Tsunami that we can't find anywhere else!  There are so many rare and hard to find movies on NetFlix.  Fuck Blockbuster, they fucking know they are loosing the customers and no matter what they do they can't keep up with how kick ass NetFlix is and not to mention how much more affordable it is.

On a completely unrelated note, I hate how people are unable to stay true to their obligations and have no real true sense of their priorities.  People are always doing this and if they think I'm just going let them waltz back in, fuck no!  To hell with them.  They had their chance and they fucking turned their back on the group, on the events, and on me.  I don't need them and I never will.  People are just tools to be used and cast aside when they have outlived their usefulness. 

Alot of times people think I'm agitated or angry because when people ask for my opinion on something.  I state and I mean it.  "I don't care." 

You see my entire life to the practice of Apathy.  I've found if you should too much enthusiasm over an object, event, or so forth; 9 times out of ten you end up in utter disappointment.  If you aim for the realistic result of something when something good does happen it's a pleasant surprise. 

Many times people accuse me of being a pessimist.  That's not true I in fact love happiness very much so, but living in a dream world doesn't accomplish anything.  Sometimes people need to face reality, things don't always go the way you want.  You see I consider myself a Realist, not a Pessimist, because I do it for fun, I do it because I feel it's my job to make people think realistically. 

Wow I must sound like such a Technocrat.   That's a bit of a Mage the Ascension Joke people probably won't get it.  oh well... but yea.  I guess that's about it.  When I say I don't care about something I mean it guys, I just don't give a damn.  It doesn't make me mad, or sad or happy.  It's just another event to live through.

So apparently Tojyo has made an appearance on FA.  Bravo good for him.  I'm a big fan of his work.  But you know what I'm not a fan of?  All these Artists basically sucking up to him as much as possible with the mentality of  "Maybe if I Suck up to to Tojyo He'll draw my Character!!!"

I mean fuck I haven't seen such blantant ass kissing since I was in high school.  Shit.  Yes he's a great artist but he's just a fucking guy.  Just like Jesus was just a fucking guy.   A bullet through the brain will kill him the same as it killed Mr. John Lennon. 


He's a good artists but let's leave it at that.  He's just a normal person for fuck sake leave him alone and let him live in peace!

Mmm it's good to be back in the game.  I've got a DVD-Burner after months of yearning for one.  My god it's sweet all of the DVD's I've ripped, all over the vcd's I've converted to DVD to watch on my Tele.... Oooo It's like as good as Sex with Tsunami.

Piracy is something that's been in my blood for ages.  Me and Tsunami live religiously by the Pirates Code.
Take what you can, Give nothing back!

It's great I must say I've currently got access to some 50+ dvd's that I want to Burn and mmm hehe life is good again.  It's good to be back in the game after being gone for so long.  The Thrill I get from doing something that's not suppose to be done is what drives me.  I love the challenge!  I love the excitement of trying to overcome a new protection.  I laugh Manically when a DVD says "COPY PROTECTION" on the cover and I Rape it like an innocent virgin and leave it on the side of the street picking up the pieces of it's life.

My Pirate Radio Station is now up and running again after a long Hiatus.  Soon I'll get an IRC sever up and running again and all will be as it should be.

Well as fate would have it Xmas is coming and I am once again in pain.  Terrible terrible pain.  A few months ago I got a couple of teeth fixed at the dentist but it would appear that one of the fillings has broken off and now I'm in almost unbearable pain.  Sure I can take a few pain killers to relieve the pain but the pain is so bad I'll have to be taking like pain killers every hour, and well that's not healthy.  I'm probably going to have to get a root canal or a the blasted thing pulled.  I don't know which one I would prefer.  I have a subconscious fear of loosing teeth but a root canal hurts like a bitch!

Well if that wasn't bad enough I also got a Sty under my left eyelid and it doesn't hurt it's just an inconvience.  I get them from time to time when I have to push my self to function on like 3 hours a sleep for a week and etc.  Just like my bodies way of telling me to get to bed. 

That's about it for me...

Last night I had a dream about my ex, Dayana Blandon. I haven’t dreamt about her since I started dating Tsunami some four years ago. It’s funny because when we dissolved our relationship it was because our feelings for each other had burned out. On the contrary, I think we loved each other more then humanly possible. She was going off to college, her life was changing, and as much as we both wanted to stay in each other’s life we knew it wasn’t possible. In the end I had to choose between Dayana and Tsunami, I chose Tsunami because I actually saw a future with her.

Don’t let anyone chalk this up to be “Omg he really doesn’t love Tsunami!” That couldn’t be farther then the truth. I love Tsunami more today then when we first started dating. I’m never going to let go of her the way I let go of Dya.

Its like, have you ever been in a relationship that you could tell was so precious, so fragile and so beautiful you cherished every moment with the person. That’s how it was with me and Dya. I cherished every moment I had with her, it’s like a part of me knew one day this would end. But I cherished every moment, the way she would get excited to see me and climb into my arms, the way she would rest her head against my chest, the way she would blush and shiver with excitement in my arms. It all made her oh so beautiful.

In the dream, I had found out that Dayana had moved to Dallas, (pretty close where we live just a four hour drive). I went up to see her with some friends to make it seem like well it was a chance meeting. The moment our eyes met we locked arms with each other like we use to. I kissed her, tasted her, and loved her; god I woke up crying for fuck sake. We talked about what had happened since we were apart, she asked me If I was ready to come back to her but I had to tell her no. That was probably the hardest thing I’d ever had to do in my life even if it was a dream. As much as I loved and still love Dayana, we had our chance, it came and went, I am with Tsunami now. I would never do anything to betray her trust in me or ruin the openness we have in our relationship.

How I didn’t want that dream to end. I wanted to stay connected with her again, for just a while longer. Until I could have my fill… I thought I had forced all these feelings I had in me for Dayana out years ago. And something out of the blue triggers something that reduces me to tears. I loved her, I cannot deny that, but she was not there for me when I needed her. As much as I knew we loved each other, we could not be there for each other even though we tried our hardest too…

Tsunami, when she found me… I was the shell of a man. There was nothing left. My feelings were just a shell of how things use to be. It’s like she took a dying kitten… that had been neglected and brought it back from the brink of death. Taught it to love again, to play, to feel joy.

Just when I am able to feel again, love again, feel happy again with a woman who loves me for who I am. I feel someone come up and cut open my chest so I can bleed from my healing heart. Like someone is trying to play a sick little joke on me. I’m trying to get on with my life. That part of me was in the past… and it’s come and gone…

I still have her picture… maybe I shouldn’t… but a part of me will always love Dayana… despite how hard I try to kill that part off…

Hmmm Got an image of Dante done by my Lovely Wife Tsunami.


Yea he's the swellest he is. Any who... That's it just a minor update nothing too new... today was a bust as far as what I had planned. I was suppose to take Tsunami to her college to sort out some financial aid stuff and a few other things like shopping. But well... The alarm didn't go off when pissed me off and we over slept by like... 4 hours...

Also I Hate Christmas Time!!! Don't get me wrong I like Christmas. Alot. But I hate how fucking crazy everyone gets at Christmas Time. Stores jack up prices for no reason. People get this fucking madness that makes them have to buy everything with a bright red "SALE" tag on it and grrr it pisses me off to no end.

I actually thought about starting a fire today at Target, just to see if the fucking shoppers would panic like a pack of geese or continue to shop despite fire alarms going off and sprinkler systems spraying water everywhere.

Unregardless, I actually do like Xmas, a lot of good memories. I love the food and presents and family time. Hell I even still believe in Santa to a small degree he he. but I hate how commercial every single holiday has gotten. I especially hate how they fucken rush the seasons. When it was Halloween they already had Christmas stuff up at Wal-Mart! Come on at least wait until Thanksgiving for fucksake!

And to top it off all of this frustration has left me unbelievably Yiffy! Tsunami hasn't been in the mood lately due to her medication for her anxiety. It's really a pain, but I don't like to put pressure on her, I don't want her to feel like she has to do anything to make me happy. I love just being with her.

Anywho... that's todays tidbits...

Hmm... I've seen live journals floating around the net for years but haven't started writing one until recently. Oh well we'll see what develops in my little dumping ground of thoughts eh?